Wall of Shame Inductee

Anowar Shahjahan

"Fake". "Fraud". Or as he is affectionately known by his peers and direct reports: "d**khead".

Folks, this guy is an argument waiting to happen: an argument for birth control, an argument for tougher immigration laws, an argument for just say NO even if it's free! The words that come out of his mouth are dumbfounding, insulting and outright shocking. I thought I'd seen some rare one of a kind priceless docs from Drawdy-Gawdy, but I guess this is now the workplace standard. Yet, he somehow managed to become an executive decision maker for which he has limited experience. He has an accelerated degree in management (that means it came with "fries") but he somehow managed to convince someone he's capable of knowing about product development and contributing to the benefit of an organization. Or is that "detriment"? There's peanut butter stuck to the paper so I'm not sure of which. But on "his" company's website, there's some new mysterious educational credential. Hmmmmm. And here's another mystery, someone's funding his efforts. So bullsh*t and charm DOES go a long way. But how long does it last? Well, let's ask SteelEye, shall we?

If you ever see Anowar in your organization, start packing. If he shows up at your company looking for job, close all open reqs and lock the door, or relocate the company if you have to. It'll be cheaper than the damage he'll do. If he's on his way in, the company's on its way down. If you see his name on a product, you don't have to worry because he didn't do anything to release it (other than drive the people crazy who actually worked), so it's usable. But hey, I could be wrong, having him at a company is a good thing. You know where NOT to be. And just think, there's a valuable contribution to society waiting to immigrate to the U.S., while Anowar's just wasting space.

Rumor has it he backstabbed every qualified executive or engineer out of the company, leaving it in the dismal and depressive state it's in now. However, the flip-side to that is another rumor that supposedly, before he arrived, the company was in an horrific state and he helped whip the deadbeats into shape or out to better the company. If it was worse than it is now, how did it get past that to become a living hell? Hell is now a step up? Man, times have sure changed. But it's not all bad. There is someone who's happy: Anowar. Happy because it isn't clear to those that matter that he doesn't know WHAT the hell he's doing. He's also somewhat or beyond schizophrenic when it comes to his own decisions: "yes I did", "no I didn't". Anowar even stages elaborate schemes against others to ensure his job security, but not the company's security, which is of no concern to him, as evident by his allowing ex-employees to hack into the network and use company resources. Or better yet, he just allows ex-employees or outgoing employees to walk right out with company resources because he feels the company owes them something for compensation (the paycheck isn't enough, I'm guessing?).

And women are to be seen and not heard in his presence, unless he commands them to speak what he wants them to. Maybe that's the way things are in Bangladesh, perhaps. But any woman with any type of decision making authority is perceived as a threat to his limited knowledge, which I guess explains the disappearance of various female executives, managers and employees who were able to think without his help. He actually ripped off his glasses and yelled to a new female employee after she spoke in a meeting without his command: "Do you know who I am?", as in bow down and respect my limited knowledge. But I'm guessing he'd never direct that question to any male employees, unless he wasn't worried about getting a beat down after work. The men, he just backstabbed repeatedly until they no longer existed if they defied his limited knowledge.

So I was trying to see things from his side after hearing all the nightmares. My first guess was maybe a competitor hired him to help put their competition out of its misery by working directly inside. Nope. No competition. Then I thought, maybe he's a nice guy that any company would just want to keep around. Nope. The blood and tears trail proves otherwise. Then, since I couldn't think of a logical reason why he's gainfully employed as an executive making ACTUAL executive decisions, I thought: CRACK! That has to be it. My new reason of deduction for everything beyond belief: CRACK!

Or maybe Anowar attended the Field of Dreams School of Technology: If you build it, they will come. He must have been absent the day they were teaching "Will They Want It?". Or he couldn't afford the advanced courses, which included "Will They Buy It?" or "Will They Buy It Again?".